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North West

My mom's a superstar all from a home movie [parody]

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‪I’m not allowed to wear @kkwbeauty ... let’s be clear. I have sensitive skin. I get a rash if anything less $100 touches my skin. DadYe just wants to be extra cautious and has removed all cheap makeup from the house. ‬

Where was this energy when Corey spanked Sofia for cussing?

I gave Mommy that "fake humanitarian ho" line, but I can't take full credit for it. I overhead MJ calling Auntie Kourt that at True's birthday party after she saw her drinking out of a plastic straw. Tap the link in my bio to read my full review of Sunday's episode of @kuwtk for @toofabnews!

Since Auntie Kourt and Penelope can't get booked for a spread in any of the major fashion magazines they are going to submit their own photos to the publications. Harper's Bazaar has already returned the photos. I'm so embarrassed for their souls. I haven't had this much second hand embarrassment since MJ thought Sofia was one of her great-grandkids.

My team and I have been coming up with new ways to brand Ms. Personality. This whole “Huh?” vibe just isn’t resonating with the audience. I had mommy pick her up a new western wardrobe from Wyoming. It fell painfully flat. I even stood her next to Saint to make her seem interesting, but when even he can outshine her there’s an even bigger issue here than I thought.

Tune in to @theviewabc to see mommy play the victim yet again! Me and Sushi can always move out if that will make her life easier, just say the word! I prefer Malibu over Calabasas anyway. Y'all please buy @skims so she can get off of national TV embarrassing me.

I felt so bad for True at her birthday party. Not only were her parents fighting, but she had to wear matching outfits with her mom. Hasn't she been through enough? A powder blue slip dress with a powder blue duster. That was just cruel. Tap the link in my bio to read my review of Sunday's @kuwtk for @toofabnews. (📼 via @kardashianvideo)

Now that Sofia is 21, Scott has taken the baby gate down from the top and bottom of the stairs. Look out world!

These are the same words of affirmation that Larsa uses to start her day.

Since legally binding contracts mean nothing to her, we've moved on to pinky swears. So far I've made her pinky swear to not bring anymore kids home, send Saint to boarding school in Switzerland, and when I turn 18 don't let Scott date me.

Stormi asked me what should she call Scott: ‘Uncle Scott ‘or just ‘Scott’? I told her for the past couple of years I’ve just been calling him Sofia’s dad, but maybe I’ll try ‘Scott’ next time.

I think this year has been a strong North, Auntie Khloe, and True year. I practically rescued them from Cleveland, for once I’m actually watching @revengebody, I successfully talked Auntie Khloe out of wearing gaucho pants on @jimmykimmellive and I help True shop for Turbans. Team us!

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