@thisiscornelius - I’ve learned that one of the most insensitive things to say to someone is: “GET OVER IT!” Unfortunately, I said that to others, especially my wife, and assumed their inability to “get over it” was a sign of weakness and an indication of being insecure. Little did I realize that I was the insecure and weak one. It wasn’t until I finally realized that there are many things I’ve suppressed in the name of “getting over it.” I didn’t get over it, I hide it, and that makes everything worse.
Those three words lack empathy and healing. Telling someone to get over whatever hurts or pains they’ve experienced without addressing the root issues isn’t beneficial. It causes those who are hurt to live in their pain instead of dealing with it righteously. Being raped, molested, bullied, wrongly convicted, abandoned, divorced, being told you have cancer and the like takes time, confession, and wise counsel to heal. God doesn’t belittle our pain and suffering, so why should we?
Our society promotes an ambitious culture where everyone is trying to get “ahead” but they fail to realize that they aren’t really moving. We’re walking on the treadmill of life—having the look and feel of progress but remaining in the same position. And our brokenness isn’t merely abandoned; instead, it’s carried into every relationship we get into. Our family secrets, undisclosed hurts and very real pains aren’t insignificant. If we continue this path then we’ll stay in a repeated cycle of pain and immaturity.
Give yourself permission to hurt, to cry, and to be angry—just do not sin. Our emotional health is important; therefore, it shouldn’t be ignored or dismissed.
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