Despite all the media and public awareness campaigns, people are STILL confused about domestic violence. It bothers me because if people are confused, they can't have the necessary conversations or make the best choices. What is the most important thing in life? Relationships & feeling love and loved. Women are still covering up for men, carrying unnecessary & toxic emotional responsibility. Overextending & putting up with 'shit'. What they wouldn't want their children to put up with. We sacrifice. We don't honour & value ourselves. We have been groomed to be a caretaker, a doormat & treat ourselves as second or third. Strong, assertive, capable women are turning themselves inside out so their children can have contact with their dads. Well you know how we say children have to live with the consequences, e.g. if they dawdle or don't clean up, they'll be late for school or a friend's party. We have to do that with men too. We need to stop filling gaps for our children so they don't feel emotional pain. Emotional pain is part of life. I know we want the best for our children, but who does it serve to walk on eggshells & over accomodate, so he doesn't crack it & your child gets the contact with dad. What does your child learn? As a child they see treating people in toxic ways gets what you want, means you don't have to work as hard & the adult gets let off the hook and has less opportunity to grow, because you 'saved' him. Do you want to keep saving men, even men you are no longer with, or feel the discomfort & drop the 'ball's' that are not yours to carry. Your children need to be with reality & not you covering up. At some point you won't be there to fill the gap & it's too costly for your wellbeing & on your child's. You may not realise it but deep down, your child doesn't want you to put them ahead of you. You are their Queen & they feel pain when you don't treat yourself this way. I know. Because they grow up & come to therapy & tell me how heartbreaking it was to see their mum tolerate & put up with so much. Don't be self sacrificing. Honour yourself. It's necessary. For you. And your child. Just help your child develop emotional muscle & bear theirfeelings.